I had to tear someone a new asshole today! June 28, 2008

Have you ever cussed somebody out so bad that you actually took a step back afterwards and reflected back on the situation like ‘damn, I really just verbally BODY SLAMMED their ass’!?

Ever wrote a letter that cut so deep into someone that the moment you finished writing it, it felt like a huge weight had just been lifted off your shoulders.

Maaaan…. I just dropped a couple of rounds of live ammunition on my downstairs neighbor that was long overdue. And it felt… oh so good! I am so glad I am not one of those kinds of people who cannot find the adequate words to express themselves. Oh and she really deserved it too. Let us just say…she had me confused!

I semi- hated the fact that I had to let her have it, but alas it was necessary. After all, Ms. Jan IS my elder and I was always taught to respect my elders. However, she was disrespecting ME. I thought when I first moved in this building, that we would be good pals, since there are only three tenants including myself that reside here and Ms. Jan IS a family friend. Nevertheless, apparently haterism exists everywhere, even in the places you are least likely to expect…like your own home!

Here is a brief excerpt from the 2-page letter I had to send this woman…

…You obviously have me confused.

I am a educated, independent , accomplished, black woman who is struggling very hard to obtain her Masters degree from Georgetown and make something MORE of myself and I would have HOPED you would have had a LITTLE more class about YOURSELF than to treat me like I am purposely intending in ANYWAY to cause disruption in your life.

If you cannot handle “apartment living” where you MAY have to OCCASSIONALLY hear the ‘movement and living’ of another human being… then perhaps you should consider buying yourself a private home. Away from people!

I do not have any parties, hardly any company, nor any kids running around, there is no arguing & fighting, no men running in and out of my place or ANYTHING crazy going on in my home. So PLEASE… get a grip on yourself!….

Sorry, I had to tell you off Ms. Jan. But you should know better!

Nothing wrong with a little help! June 23, 2008

If I put on a body slimmer and a push-up bra and go out in a date with a man.. certainly, he may perceive me as being very naturally curvy, statuesque and just outright SEXY.

Am I intending to deceive him by doing all of this? Maybe. Or am I just merely just using little harmless devices of deception to conceal what I may perceive to be an imperfection in myself so that I can feel more comfortable? I do not think I have harmed him or myself by “enhancing” myself. No, I actually made myself feel good and look good and I have probably made him feel like a million bucks himself. Isn’t that how a man wants to feel…..like he is out with the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. I would say that I did us both a favor and there is nothing wrong with that.

However, on a different note, perhaps I hurt the young waitress who is serving us our food during this date. Perhaps now, she feels a little insecure about herself because she sees me looking like a sexy, statuesque goddess and now she feels less confident about her plain, dowdy self. Am I suppose to feel morally responsible for what someone else chooses to perceive because I needed to use a tools of deception to make myself feel comfortable? I do not think so.

Moral of the story: Maintain your sexy….by any means necessary!! It makes the world a better place to be. Haters can get over themselves.